May 15: Anton's "Gotcha Day"

We've had our little Anton for 6 years now.

I remember that day so well.  We were so excited.  We just got back to Cheboksary from our 10 day stay in Samara, where we stayed with some new friends who went to the same seminary as Chris.  We had really enjoyed ourselves during this time.  (Russia requires a 10 day wait after the judge grants the adoption on the 2nd trip.  Many folks opt to go back home and make a 3rd trip.  We stayed.  Oh, on that court day 10 days prior to "gotcha day" when judge granted our petiion, it was Mother's Day in the States because it was still Sunday.  In Russia, that Monday, it was "Family Day.")

We went to pick him up from the Baby House, as they call it ("orphanages" were considered the house where the children go after they turn 3 years old).  They took just me to where Anton was at that time, (while Chris waited towards the front of the House), to the potty room where most of his class of 13 kids were sitting on plastic potties on the floor, waiting...  (no reading material).  They were all a different make and model of potty and you reckon they were donated.  But that doesn't matter.  All the women had on white nurse coats.  The lady motioned to me, ordering me, to put on a white jacket (now).  There was just one and it was probably an extra small size.  I'm a ladies "large" in a jacket.  (I have these football broad shoulders that I'm a little self-conscious about, I've always wanted to be petite, but that is the least of my worries at this point.)  And I'm REALLY nervous.  Is he going to like me?  But most of all, I feel so incompetent as a mom!

Anton was one of the few who was washed up and sitting in the little lunch room.  They had made some soup with meatballs.  The nurses ordered me to feed him.  Yikes.  I've never been good at getting fussy kids to eat, the few times I've tried.  He didn't want to eat his soup.  They ordered me to do encourage him to eat.  Well, he doesn't want to eat, how do I make him eat, I thought.  Do I do the airplane thing?  Do I talk nice?  Do I use a stern voice?  (and I can hardly move in this jacket.)  I had no effect on him.  They were able to get him to take a sip.  Oh, no he doesn't respect me already.  These ladies don't respect me.  I'm such an idiot.

Then after a few sips, they motioned for me to hand over the clothes I brought.  So, we went to another room to dress him, to a small narrow locker room.  Anton had his own locker with a few clothes assigned to him.  They wanted the clothes he was wearing.  I gave them my bag what I had for him.  It contaned a disposbale diaper with cars on it.  They adored it for the technology, and it had cars on it!  And the tee shirt had these old fashioned race cars on it.  Like, how did I know he like cars so much?  Their countenance was changed and not so stern.  I don't know if they were just acting to encourage Anton that this was divine providence.  And of course, it was.  But it encouraged me that I had done something right.

We left the orphanage with him in my arms.  He was not scared.  He did not cry.  We got in the car and I still held him.  Child safety seats were not required and few people had them.  I would have liked that, of course, being the new cautious mother I was, but I was glad to hold him and trust that God would take care of us on the crazy ride back to the apartment we were staying in.

As soon as we got to the apartment.  He looked at the building and started crying.  I think he may have thought he was going to a doctor, or something.  We quickly comforted him and he stopped immediately, and that was it.  He did not mourn in an obvious way to us being away from his friends and caregivers, although I'm sure he missed them.

When we got to the apartment, I wasn't sure what to do.  I had already asked the host family previously what did most families do when they brought their children there for the first time.  Most of them had other children and handled it with confidence (this was my first).  They said I should give him a bath and check him out to see if everything is visibly OK.  I thought that would be awkward to ask him to strip down as soon as we got him.  Looking back, this is so funny.  So, we gave him a quick bath.  I think that went OK.  Everything looked normal, and no skin infections.  He was just really skinny!  But he looked reasonably healthy considering.  Then we tried to get him to eat.

Oh, the night before I had made a fruit salad with yogurt.  I was able to find some fresh fruit at one of the stores.  Most families didn't buy a variety of fruits as we do here in the states.  The hostess family cautioned me against this because in Russia, they don't feed children fresh fruit.  They believe it is bad for the children's digestion.  She felt confident sharing with me her concerns since I had expressed previously a willingness to be coached.  Well, this is where I felt I was right, that he was missing out on a lot of vitamins and minerals from fresh fruit.  But she was also right, in that he got diarrhea.  I still felt it was a good thing, it was just that one time and he has no allergies to fruit (must have just been that it was new food to him).

That night he slept with us and everything went pretty well.  The next day he challenged me on bedtime and ran around having a blast, showing me in an impish way that he wasn't going to bed, and to catch him if I could.  I played the game for a while.  But I wanted to assert our loving authority position.  And it was bedtime.  "Spot" I said, that means "lay down."  No, no, no.  Well, without going into further explanation, I won, and he was hugging me in the end, ready to go to bed.  He felt secure that someone cared for him, and to know what is best for him.  I think this episode helped in our immediate "bonding and attachment."  During the whole trip in Russia, there was a trust in us, that we could take care of him and guide him.

The biggest problem we had after that was putting him down.  He clung to me like a Koala Bear and I didn't want to let him down.  This was an issue for the first year, but a good issue.  :O)

We really don't do much for "gotcha day."  Whenever we discuss with Anton that he is from Russia, he doesn't take an interest in that he came from a different place.  Maybe that will change later.  We talk about our love for Russia, and our interest in his home country with interest, as we truly love Russia.  Before we left, I bought him a matryoshka (stacking doll) that was painted in a distinctly Chuvasian style (the region of Russia where he is from).  But he has never held a fascination for it.  The other day, he was cleaning his room and took out the doll and said that it belongs with a collection of items I have from museums that I keep on a bookshelf.   I reminded him again, "this is from where we got you."  No interest.  He doesn't ask questions about his birth mother.  He doesn't want to know.  And that's fine with us.  I imagine he'll be more inquisitive later and that may be around the time we can take Russian language lessons together.

Happy Victory Day to Russia

We were in Russia 6 years ago today, on our 10 day wait to pick up our precious Anton.  If you know my husband, you know he LOVES military history.  We were so blessed to be there on this day and watch these veterans come out, fully decorated, to be honored in the parades.  Read a copy/paste from an article below, and click on the link to see more pictures.

Victory Day 2012
Russia and former Soviet republics marked the 67 years since the Allied victory over Nazi Germany in World War II today. Russia's newly inaugurated President Vladimir Putin promised a strong Russia during a speech he delivered during a military parade at Red Square in Moscow. The Soviet Union lost an estimated 26 million people in the war, including 8.5 million soldiers. -- Lloyd Young (31 photos total)  Click here for the full article.  ('cept we don't think Stalin was such a great guy!  Don't like that one picture :O) 

Reading Wind in the Willows

I was supposed to read this in High School but I cheated.  The beautiful thing about Homeschooling is you can go back to school.  Of course, anyone can read the book no matter what choices for education is chosen, but homeschooling seems to afford more time.  I have really slacked off on read-alouds with Anton and thought this would be a good book to read at this time.

It is really fun to read.  Kenneth Grahame is such a great writer.

We are going to read a little and then watch a movie portion of what we just read as a review and see if we can tell what was left out.

Reading it is so much more fun because of the narration and descriptions Kenneth Grahame; he is a beautiful writer and captured the beauty of God's Creation and human nature that is given to the characters.  (boy, I missed out on so much before)

Here are some links, in case you're interested in reading it too.

Kenneth Grahame Society

Wind and the Willows (listen and read)

You Tube 1983 movie

The version I have is Collector's Library (pocket size) edition, by Barnes and Noble.  There is another version that is illustrated and abridged, that I'm thinking about getting.  

My version has a copy of the letter that Theodore Roosevelt wrote to the author, expressing his delight he and his family had with the book.  It also has an introduction by A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh), who wrote a play about Wind in the Willows. Here is an excerpt of what he wrote:

“One does not argue about The Wind in the Willows. The young man gives it to the girl with whom he is in love, and, if she does not like it, asks her to return his letters. The older man tries it on his nephew, and alters his will accordingly. The book is a test of character. We can't criticize it, because it is criticizing us. But I must give you one word of warning. When you sit down to it, don't be so ridiculous as to suppose that you are sitting in judgment on my taste, or on the art of Kenneth Grahame. You are merely sitting in judgment on yourself. You may be worthy: I don't know, But it is you who are on trial.” ― A.A. Milne

So, you better read it too, and like it ;o)  If you have read it, please add your comments or suggestions.

Agape Love

I saw this video on Facebook and had to post on my blog.   Must see for anyone called to love selflessly (everyone :O)

http://vimeo.com/38033654



Agape love, click here for more explanation.

Bulgaria is catching up on the parent waiting list

"Of the 50 dossiers still registered with MOJ from October 2006 until June 2009 (data published in March 2012), 14 have now received referrals."    http://martiniadoptionroad.blogspot.com/2012/05/iac-216-results.html

(We are registered in Oct. 2010 but willing to accept some Special Needs and older children, which should decrease our waiting time)

Thoughts of our Country on this National Day of Prayer

When we were in Russia at the airport, ready to take Anton to his new country, it was quite an emotional time and perhaps that was a turning point for having now a greater appreciation for our country.  We have a lot to be thankful for.  And a lot to pray about.  In summary, that God would allow us to be a blessing to others in the world, through missions, humanitarian aid, adoption, opportunity through industry (capitalism), and freedom (that costs the ultimate price), to be found pleasing to Him. 

Here's the story that I love to tell (and probably wrote about some of these things in earlier post).  The Russians in the airport wanted to comfort my little 2 1/2 year old, clinging to me tightly (bonding wonderfully), that he is going to another land, but it will be good.  He was going to be an "Americansky."  Perhaps these nationals working in the airport were more appreciative of other countries, being in a travel industry.  But, Russians are very patriotic, as a people.  They respect their own country with all its flaws.  They really respect it when they see us appreciate our country; that's our duty.  Many there love Americans.  We were allies once and in many ways still are.  Respect and love for country is something that they're taught and maybe it is something we have lost, because, as you know, speaking our minds and criticizing our country is one of freedoms and hobbies (that I indulge in) as part of the First Amendment.  They don't speak so freely, and that is part of the problem with Russia, but also convicting to see their respect, according to Romans 13.   

Getting back to the story, as we walked our way to through the lines toward the airplane, as the nationals learned that we were adopting our little Anton, they would speak to Anton in Russian.  (And I can't talk or type about this without getting teary eyed.)  They told him he was going to a wonderful country.  And they were sincere; you could see it in their eyes.  Some of them were almost envious of him (remember, that adopted children in Russia are a little persecuted.  Things are changing, but they are seen as "unwanted children" and because of that will never be "normal.")  And yet you can see in some of their eyes the joy for what awaited our little guy.  Many of them had tears in their eyes for him.  I was very emotional too, because I knew he was leaving his home country, and even though that was "good," I was experiencing a loss of some sort for him.   I never expected that.  I expected that we'd "high tail" it out of there and be happy about that.  I was happy, but it is hard to explain.  Perhaps it was just an important moment.  I hope someday to visit Russia with him.

I was so thankful that we were taking Anton to a land of opportunity, where he could get good medical care, education, eventually find out who he wanted to be when he grows up.  And of course, be loved by his family, who would share the gospel with him and he would not be alone in an institution any more.  What opportunities awaited to him!  God was bestowing His blessing on him.  Everyone could see it.  I thought I was being blessed finally getting a child (about time!).  And, and I was being blessed, but I realize how much God loves Anton, and how much we should be thankful for our country that was founded on Biblical principles.

We have a lot to pray for.  Most of all, prayer of thanks.  And prayer that God would revive us, as in the days of the Great Awakening.  Pray that "theology" would be important, because it is all about our relationship with our Creator.  The churches today are so poor in spirit, but busy, and extravagant...not truly "rich."  Doctrine was something people thought about more 200 years ago and prior.  That is why the Pilgrims came here because they wanted to worship our God freely. 

I hope that our country means something to you.  If you have forgotten, just look at my son.  What would his life be without the opportunities that have come to him by way of our country.  By way of our God. 

He loves America.  I think the workers in the orphanage trained him during the month before we picked him up (almost 6 years ago today, that would be May 15, 2006).   In the car, here in Texas, he would say excitedly (only days after we got him!),  "America flag!  America flag!"  I didn't teach him this.  I was convicted.  Yea, OK.  It's a flag.  You see them everywhere.  We're in America.  ...conviction, because I wasn't ready to teach him these things, but somebody already had (those orphanages aren't all bad).  That flag means a lot to Anton.  And now it means more to me too. 

I pray "thank you Lord for our great country that has afforded us freedom, safety, opportunity...to thrive, to worship, to learn, to grow, to love the Lord our God with all our heart soul, mind and strength." 

I have a heart for the world.  I would love to work in missions in Russia someday or other part of the world if the Lord wills.  But I'll always be thankful for this little experiment called America.  People say that her days are limited.  And we know in Scripture that all nations will oppose God one day, as they all will oppose Israel who will get a new heart from her God at that time.  We know this country won't be forever, and indeed, we see her slipping away before our very eyes.  We need a Savior, more than we need a good President. 

So, I pray for our country and the hearts of the people here. 

How Do You Measure Success as a Parent?

How Do You Measure Success as a Parent? « Empowered To Connect

My only exception to what is said here is that WE DO LIVE SUPREMELY HAPPY EVER AFTER.  I believe that with all my heart.  Isn't that great news?  If the God of the Bible is our God and we have embraced Him through faith. 

This is a great resource for parents wanting to adopt.  If you're adopting or working with children in Foster Care, you must get The Well Connected Child, by Karyn Purvis.   But it is also a great book for parenting in general.  It has helped move from a more "authoritative" style, to being able to be more of a instrument of Christlike love.  Yet, this book, unlike many other adoption books based on Modern Psychology (and not the Bible), it does discuss discipline and our God-given roles to guide our children.   In a sea of a lot books on adoption, this one stands out on top.