The Picasa program is so easy to make a quick video. I love Big Band Swing, Beyond the Sea (music chosen for video). I hope you enjoy.
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Thursday, July 21, 2011
Our Aquarium Day
Had a great day with Helen and Peter, from our church. The Aquarium is in Houston, TX. Tuesday is BOGO free (thanks Helen for the treat!). The place is nice. Although we felt sorry for the White Tiger.
The Picasa program is so easy to make a quick video. I love Big Band Swing, Beyond the Sea (music chosen for video). I hope you enjoy.
The Picasa program is so easy to make a quick video. I love Big Band Swing, Beyond the Sea (music chosen for video). I hope you enjoy.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
What I've learned from Orphanage Adoption, a personal experience in God's Providence
Many of you know, we adopted our Anton in 2005, from Russian orphanage. He was only 2 1/2 years old. He is now 7 1/2. He has been such a huge blessing in our lives, and many of you too, that have come to know him. (Current update: we are planning to adopt again from Bulgaria!, will give details at end of this post.)
This picture below is from the Baby House in Russia, about 200 miles east of Moscow.
I hope the lessons I learned would encourage you dear reader to trust the Lord and His providence, and not in ourselves. It was all Him from beginning to end, and He directed our steps, worked in the background to make things happen all while we weren't fully aware what He would be doing in our lives, and how He would change us. I know many of my Christian friends have parallel experiences like this in other areas.
Here is our story. We were open to children the day we married. After a few years, we sought medical advice. We did so many things medically, short of in vitro, as we weren't comfortable with that. We spent a lot of money. We were always open to the Lord's answer. We never felt that because we were in control because we sought medical help. Pursuing chidren was something we felt God was pleased with.
We were always open to adoption but the cost of that route caused us to keep pursuing infertility treatments, as our doctor was encouraging about our chances. We finally just got burned out. Then, we decided to give up on that and put all our efforts and finances towards adoption. (In hindsight, it was doubly expensive to get our first child, considering medical expenses.)
We visited Catholic Charities. They told us that we needed to put together a scrapbook of ourselves, and they could not guarantee what the wait would be or even if we'd be picked by a birthmother. The socialworker said it would cost about $20K. Also, once we had the baby, the adoption wouldn't be final until a year after we had the child. During that interval, the birth mother could change her mind and take the baby back.
She mentioned that there are children with medical needs we could adopt more quickly. For our first parenting experience we just wanted a normal baby as much as possible realizing that any child could appear to be fine and have unseen issues. Chris was a pastor at the time, and it seemed like it would be exhausting to care for extensive health issues of a child as the work of the ministry in our church was demanding. For this reason, we also were reluctant to pursue foster parenting; we actually began the process for that in California but Chris wasn't a pastor then.
So, being that the cost of in-country adoption was similar to cost of international adoption (it is usually more due travel and immigration costs), we decided to go international. Some of the advantages of international adoption are the adoption is complete when the child arrives in the USA. There is no chance of the birth parents coming to USA and reclaiming their child. There are negatives of course. But we enjoy meeting people from different cultures and as far as health concerns of the children, we're in it for keeps. The choice seemed to be a "no-brainer," for international adoption although still a step a faith.
We liked the idea of rescuing an orphan but it seemed to make the most sense on how to get a child, in light of all we had been through. But our decision to adopt internationally was a practical one, with the romantic notion of going to Russia! I've always been fascinated by Russia and had grown a heart for the country from relationships developed at our former church.
Meanwhile, Chris went through some difficult times in his ministry as a pastor, not uncommon to what many men face in the ministry. But some unfair things happened and it really drew us to the Lord. I'll never trade those experiences for how much it grew me in my faith. But it was still a time when I wondered what God had for us but we just sought to be faithful no matter what. Chris started a church plant at the request of some dear folks. Things seemed to be going great until one day, a few individuals became discontent, and publicly accused Chris of not trusting the Lord because we wanted to adopt a child. Yes, you read that right. Two men who were quite young in the faith and generally not thought of as mature believers. Even though this is the type of attack that doesn't hurt because we were proud we wanted to adopt, nevertheless, it was the beginning of the splitting of our already split up fellowship. And I just asked again, "What do you have for me, Lord? I want to be your servant but what do we do next?"
It was the next day after this public attack, a Monday, we received a very interesting phone call from Gladney! They had this little boy, named Anton. She sent me an email and I without a picture and limited information, we knew this was our little boy. There was some medical information and a description of what he could do developmentally. I was ecstatic. My mother was living with me at the time, and we just cried together as we read how he can roll the ball and say 50 words.
We moved quickly on this adoption. It was an incredible amount of rushing around, paperwork, crazy money we had to find. During the 1st trip, news came to our facilitator that the laws were changing in Russia and it might cause a huge delay in bringing back Anton, and so we had to act quickly. Her eyes were bloodshot when she told us this. She said she couldn't stress how quickly we must move. (Well, we had a 1 day layover in London I wish we hadn't planned on.) We saw God's hand working in marvelous ways, providentially 1) showing us that we indeed needed to hurry as fast as humanly possible, and 2) helping us get all the paperwork done at record-breaking speed (not an exaggeration as we were told they never seen things come together so quickly).
I could say so much about our trip to Russia and the friends we made. But I'd like to highlight one change in my heart that occurred. As I've explained, I was filled with such awe of how God loved me in bringing this adoption to fruition, and had plans for me (after all the pain!) in this incredible adventure and blessing in Russia. Two dreams were being fulfilled: a missionary trip to Russia in some ways (handed out MacArthur study bibles in Russian), and a child I could raise. What a better way to evangelize than to parent? Tears filled my eyes often as they do now. However, as I saw the response and tears of happiness in the eyes of the Russian nationals for Anton, I began to realize a greater blessing was being a blessing, and how God was going to work in Anton's life. I have to confess I felt incredibly ashamed at how self centered I was and I had the focus on myself. And as I looked at the Baby House, many of these children would remain in the orphanage institutions, they would move on from the Baby House after they turn 3. They would not getting a mamma and a pappa, yet, God was blessing Anton.
I imagine parents of natural children go through a similar revelation. They are excited about being a parent, and the pregnancy, and how cute they look pregnant, and the clothes, then they realize it is not about them but the little child they raise, to correct, to present to Jesus, all by His enabling. It is a lot of work but the joy is being used as His servant.
With these precious lessons under our belt, and our experiences and blessings with raising Anton, and loving this precious child from a lonely background...with our next adoption, we have our eyes fixed on rescuing; it is quite different than our first motivation! Foreign adoption is a ridiculously joyful experience. You don't understand it until you do it. If you want to have the best time of your life, and invest wisely, adopt from an orphanage. Adopt a special needs child if you are so gifted, I imagine that would be the greatest blessing still.
I feel that Anton in a way has adopted us also. Many of you who know us, know that I come from a broken home. I really have a hard time seeing families with grandparents for their children, and lots of cousins running around, and love (even in the midst of differences). We are thankful to be little tiny plant growing beside the waters, as we are.
We realize we're a little crazy to have done that and want to do it again. We took out a 2nd mortgage on our home to afford the first one and still paying for it (almost paid up on our 1st!!) We make no apologies. We are embarking on this second adoption in faith also, sans the use of credit. Please pray for finances and God's provision. We believe we have a lot to share in the Lord for this new child.
I highly recommend Orphanage adoption because there are so many orphans in Eastern Europe and other places that will not have a chance to have a normal life. At least here, orphans can receive education stipends and medical benefits. A child can still make a good life here in the states, even though of course they need a mamma and pappa. There is very little or no stigma in being an orphan here. Not so in other countries. Do we realize what a great country this is? I believe it is the influence of the Bible, and Christians, that even change the attitudes of non-Christians. You appreciate America when visit other countries, particularly when you see how other countries view their orphans. Don't get me wrong, Russia loves their children and the workers are very caring, but the mentality of the people to support these children into a normal life as potentially almost indistinguishable from a non-orphan is not there. They are viewed as "throw away" children, by and large. I hear those attitudes are changing, thankfully.
Regarding our homestudy and philosophy of discipline: Ironically, Russia is more understanding about Biblical forms of discipline than in USA, according to our experience. We were never asked to lie about that to the judge and we were honest on our homestudy. But we were quite nervous about being denied by the judge based on our truthful answers. I think they respected our understanding of the parent role.
Why foreign adoption? People want to know why we would want to adopt when there are so many children here in USA to adopt? Of course my motives are different now with this second adoption than they were with the first. And some people ask honestly out of curiosity, and some people ask pointedly, almost as if we are reproached, with some explaining to do for not caring about our home country's children. (I try to be patient with this latter group, even when asked twice, because we ourselves didn't understand the beauty of Orphanage Adoption.) And there are folks who think we (or they themselves) shouldn't adopt unless they can pay for all of it themselves. And there are folks who tell you how you can get a child for less money, not understanding our draw to orphanage adoption. And we understand that God can change our course, of course :O) Our hearts are this: we're not necessarily looking for the best financial deal (though money is an object) because our goal isn't just to get a sibling for Anton, realizing we must live in reality of financial constraints. Just as some folks have a longing for certain country in regards to missions, or role to serve in at their local church, so we feel called to Orphanage Adoption. Having said all that, perhaps long-windedly, we're open to hearing about an unwed mother who is thinking of giving her child up, what have you. How could we not stop and consider what opportunities are presented to us? I'd need another hand to count how many times we've heard about a birth mother considering giving up her baby. We realize we could set out on one path, and yet the Lord could change things, however we are quite along in the process with Bulgaria, it looks more and more like the path was meant to be.
We're so excited about it. And since this child will be older than Anton was when we adopted him, we know there will be both more trials and more blessings. It seems the blessings move in proportion with the challenges. She (or he) may take longer to trust us from their past rejection experiences, but when she (or he) does... it will be remarkable. And they will have more understanding of what blessings they have.
Why Bulgaria? We are choosing Bulgaria simply because it was recommended by our agency, Gladney. We really wanted to go back to Russia. However, Bulgaria seems to be less risky. At times, Russia changes their policy on foreign adoption and Bulgaria has a more centralized operation that they are working diligently on improving.
So, we covet your prayers that God would provide the additional $10K, that we would be faithful with our finances and keep stashing away funds and that churches might support us. We plan on adopting a girl. She will be around 3 to 7 years of age, I know that is a big range, but we're open to a child in our homestudy up to 7. They don't want to place a child that would be older than present children in family, to maintain a birth order. He or she (it could be a boy, but we put we preferred a girl), is probably born now, so we can pray that he/she will come to know our Savior. He or she may also have special needs. The Ministry of Justice has accepted our paperwork as of October, 2010. This is a huge milestone and the end of huge paperwork ordeal. We think we could get a child referral next year, but the wait is impossible to predict. We have to renew our immigration approval yearly, and fingerprints. The longer it takes, the more money you spend just to keep your paperwork updated. But we know it will be nothing in light of the blessing.
Thank you for reading and especially for praying!
This picture below is from the Baby House in Russia, about 200 miles east of Moscow.
I hope the lessons I learned would encourage you dear reader to trust the Lord and His providence, and not in ourselves. It was all Him from beginning to end, and He directed our steps, worked in the background to make things happen all while we weren't fully aware what He would be doing in our lives, and how He would change us. I know many of my Christian friends have parallel experiences like this in other areas.
Here is our story. We were open to children the day we married. After a few years, we sought medical advice. We did so many things medically, short of in vitro, as we weren't comfortable with that. We spent a lot of money. We were always open to the Lord's answer. We never felt that because we were in control because we sought medical help. Pursuing chidren was something we felt God was pleased with.
We were always open to adoption but the cost of that route caused us to keep pursuing infertility treatments, as our doctor was encouraging about our chances. We finally just got burned out. Then, we decided to give up on that and put all our efforts and finances towards adoption. (In hindsight, it was doubly expensive to get our first child, considering medical expenses.)
We visited Catholic Charities. They told us that we needed to put together a scrapbook of ourselves, and they could not guarantee what the wait would be or even if we'd be picked by a birthmother. The socialworker said it would cost about $20K. Also, once we had the baby, the adoption wouldn't be final until a year after we had the child. During that interval, the birth mother could change her mind and take the baby back.
She mentioned that there are children with medical needs we could adopt more quickly. For our first parenting experience we just wanted a normal baby as much as possible realizing that any child could appear to be fine and have unseen issues. Chris was a pastor at the time, and it seemed like it would be exhausting to care for extensive health issues of a child as the work of the ministry in our church was demanding. For this reason, we also were reluctant to pursue foster parenting; we actually began the process for that in California but Chris wasn't a pastor then.
So, being that the cost of in-country adoption was similar to cost of international adoption (it is usually more due travel and immigration costs), we decided to go international. Some of the advantages of international adoption are the adoption is complete when the child arrives in the USA. There is no chance of the birth parents coming to USA and reclaiming their child. There are negatives of course. But we enjoy meeting people from different cultures and as far as health concerns of the children, we're in it for keeps. The choice seemed to be a "no-brainer," for international adoption although still a step a faith.
We liked the idea of rescuing an orphan but it seemed to make the most sense on how to get a child, in light of all we had been through. But our decision to adopt internationally was a practical one, with the romantic notion of going to Russia! I've always been fascinated by Russia and had grown a heart for the country from relationships developed at our former church.
Meanwhile, Chris went through some difficult times in his ministry as a pastor, not uncommon to what many men face in the ministry. But some unfair things happened and it really drew us to the Lord. I'll never trade those experiences for how much it grew me in my faith. But it was still a time when I wondered what God had for us but we just sought to be faithful no matter what. Chris started a church plant at the request of some dear folks. Things seemed to be going great until one day, a few individuals became discontent, and publicly accused Chris of not trusting the Lord because we wanted to adopt a child. Yes, you read that right. Two men who were quite young in the faith and generally not thought of as mature believers. Even though this is the type of attack that doesn't hurt because we were proud we wanted to adopt, nevertheless, it was the beginning of the splitting of our already split up fellowship. And I just asked again, "What do you have for me, Lord? I want to be your servant but what do we do next?"
It was the next day after this public attack, a Monday, we received a very interesting phone call from Gladney! They had this little boy, named Anton. She sent me an email and I without a picture and limited information, we knew this was our little boy. There was some medical information and a description of what he could do developmentally. I was ecstatic. My mother was living with me at the time, and we just cried together as we read how he can roll the ball and say 50 words.
We moved quickly on this adoption. It was an incredible amount of rushing around, paperwork, crazy money we had to find. During the 1st trip, news came to our facilitator that the laws were changing in Russia and it might cause a huge delay in bringing back Anton, and so we had to act quickly. Her eyes were bloodshot when she told us this. She said she couldn't stress how quickly we must move. (Well, we had a 1 day layover in London I wish we hadn't planned on.) We saw God's hand working in marvelous ways, providentially 1) showing us that we indeed needed to hurry as fast as humanly possible, and 2) helping us get all the paperwork done at record-breaking speed (not an exaggeration as we were told they never seen things come together so quickly).
I could say so much about our trip to Russia and the friends we made. But I'd like to highlight one change in my heart that occurred. As I've explained, I was filled with such awe of how God loved me in bringing this adoption to fruition, and had plans for me (after all the pain!) in this incredible adventure and blessing in Russia. Two dreams were being fulfilled: a missionary trip to Russia in some ways (handed out MacArthur study bibles in Russian), and a child I could raise. What a better way to evangelize than to parent? Tears filled my eyes often as they do now. However, as I saw the response and tears of happiness in the eyes of the Russian nationals for Anton, I began to realize a greater blessing was being a blessing, and how God was going to work in Anton's life. I have to confess I felt incredibly ashamed at how self centered I was and I had the focus on myself. And as I looked at the Baby House, many of these children would remain in the orphanage institutions, they would move on from the Baby House after they turn 3. They would not getting a mamma and a pappa, yet, God was blessing Anton.
I imagine parents of natural children go through a similar revelation. They are excited about being a parent, and the pregnancy, and how cute they look pregnant, and the clothes, then they realize it is not about them but the little child they raise, to correct, to present to Jesus, all by His enabling. It is a lot of work but the joy is being used as His servant.
With these precious lessons under our belt, and our experiences and blessings with raising Anton, and loving this precious child from a lonely background...with our next adoption, we have our eyes fixed on rescuing; it is quite different than our first motivation! Foreign adoption is a ridiculously joyful experience. You don't understand it until you do it. If you want to have the best time of your life, and invest wisely, adopt from an orphanage. Adopt a special needs child if you are so gifted, I imagine that would be the greatest blessing still.
I feel that Anton in a way has adopted us also. Many of you who know us, know that I come from a broken home. I really have a hard time seeing families with grandparents for their children, and lots of cousins running around, and love (even in the midst of differences). We are thankful to be little tiny plant growing beside the waters, as we are.
We realize we're a little crazy to have done that and want to do it again. We took out a 2nd mortgage on our home to afford the first one and still paying for it (almost paid up on our 1st!!) We make no apologies. We are embarking on this second adoption in faith also, sans the use of credit. Please pray for finances and God's provision. We believe we have a lot to share in the Lord for this new child.
I highly recommend Orphanage adoption because there are so many orphans in Eastern Europe and other places that will not have a chance to have a normal life. At least here, orphans can receive education stipends and medical benefits. A child can still make a good life here in the states, even though of course they need a mamma and pappa. There is very little or no stigma in being an orphan here. Not so in other countries. Do we realize what a great country this is? I believe it is the influence of the Bible, and Christians, that even change the attitudes of non-Christians. You appreciate America when visit other countries, particularly when you see how other countries view their orphans. Don't get me wrong, Russia loves their children and the workers are very caring, but the mentality of the people to support these children into a normal life as potentially almost indistinguishable from a non-orphan is not there. They are viewed as "throw away" children, by and large. I hear those attitudes are changing, thankfully.
Regarding our homestudy and philosophy of discipline: Ironically, Russia is more understanding about Biblical forms of discipline than in USA, according to our experience. We were never asked to lie about that to the judge and we were honest on our homestudy. But we were quite nervous about being denied by the judge based on our truthful answers. I think they respected our understanding of the parent role.
Why foreign adoption? People want to know why we would want to adopt when there are so many children here in USA to adopt? Of course my motives are different now with this second adoption than they were with the first. And some people ask honestly out of curiosity, and some people ask pointedly, almost as if we are reproached, with some explaining to do for not caring about our home country's children. (I try to be patient with this latter group, even when asked twice, because we ourselves didn't understand the beauty of Orphanage Adoption.) And there are folks who think we (or they themselves) shouldn't adopt unless they can pay for all of it themselves. And there are folks who tell you how you can get a child for less money, not understanding our draw to orphanage adoption. And we understand that God can change our course, of course :O) Our hearts are this: we're not necessarily looking for the best financial deal (though money is an object) because our goal isn't just to get a sibling for Anton, realizing we must live in reality of financial constraints. Just as some folks have a longing for certain country in regards to missions, or role to serve in at their local church, so we feel called to Orphanage Adoption. Having said all that, perhaps long-windedly, we're open to hearing about an unwed mother who is thinking of giving her child up, what have you. How could we not stop and consider what opportunities are presented to us? I'd need another hand to count how many times we've heard about a birth mother considering giving up her baby. We realize we could set out on one path, and yet the Lord could change things, however we are quite along in the process with Bulgaria, it looks more and more like the path was meant to be.
We're so excited about it. And since this child will be older than Anton was when we adopted him, we know there will be both more trials and more blessings. It seems the blessings move in proportion with the challenges. She (or he) may take longer to trust us from their past rejection experiences, but when she (or he) does... it will be remarkable. And they will have more understanding of what blessings they have.
Why Bulgaria? We are choosing Bulgaria simply because it was recommended by our agency, Gladney. We really wanted to go back to Russia. However, Bulgaria seems to be less risky. At times, Russia changes their policy on foreign adoption and Bulgaria has a more centralized operation that they are working diligently on improving.
So, we covet your prayers that God would provide the additional $10K, that we would be faithful with our finances and keep stashing away funds and that churches might support us. We plan on adopting a girl. She will be around 3 to 7 years of age, I know that is a big range, but we're open to a child in our homestudy up to 7. They don't want to place a child that would be older than present children in family, to maintain a birth order. He or she (it could be a boy, but we put we preferred a girl), is probably born now, so we can pray that he/she will come to know our Savior. He or she may also have special needs. The Ministry of Justice has accepted our paperwork as of October, 2010. This is a huge milestone and the end of huge paperwork ordeal. We think we could get a child referral next year, but the wait is impossible to predict. We have to renew our immigration approval yearly, and fingerprints. The longer it takes, the more money you spend just to keep your paperwork updated. But we know it will be nothing in light of the blessing.
Thank you for reading and especially for praying!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
why I wanted to start a blog
I really didn't start blogging until Facebook came along. The term "blog" sounds like a combination of "bog" and "bla", doesn't sound very good. I wondered if it is a little presumptuous to think someone will be interested in all my thoughts and opinion. But more and more I see it as a way to share ideas, encourage one another. But I'm not sure that many people will read this blog, and that's OK. Maybe it will just be fun to journal. But I intend the purpose of this blog to reflect our hearts for Christ, hence the title. I hope that my blogs are centered around our Resting Place, that is Christ, and He is our guest in our home.
I'm not sure if this encouraged me or not, but...we are reading a book by Jonathan Edwards. I learned how he categorized all the topics he studied and numbered them chronologically, and then alphabetically. It was a primitive blog to keep up with all his thoughts. I'm sure we won't be as profound, but if Edwards did it...
Oh, and we're adopting again! And have been meaning to post about that. This way folks can keep up with how that is progressing. That will probably be one of my next posts.
I just asked Chris if he wanted to share it with me. He said he liked the idea. I hope I didn't pick too feminine of a design (just changed design from a quilt to books :O)
I'm not sure if this encouraged me or not, but...we are reading a book by Jonathan Edwards. I learned how he categorized all the topics he studied and numbered them chronologically, and then alphabetically. It was a primitive blog to keep up with all his thoughts. I'm sure we won't be as profound, but if Edwards did it...
Oh, and we're adopting again! And have been meaning to post about that. This way folks can keep up with how that is progressing. That will probably be one of my next posts.
I just asked Chris if he wanted to share it with me. He said he liked the idea. I hope I didn't pick too feminine of a design (just changed design from a quilt to books :O)
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